Yup. I Preed myself.

I recently got my first “smart phone,” by which I mean a phone that I'm not a little embarrassed to use in public. It's a Palm Pre. We’re talking a whole new level of obsessive email checking, here. I already can’t live without it.

I was trying to decide between the Palm Pre and an Android phone. Aside from my obvious concern that the Android phone might gain sentience and kill me in my sleep, I also didn’t like the “virtual keyboard”—typing on the screen itself. I’ve never been able to do that very well. I’m not really sure why. I don’t think my fingers are overly chubby, and I’ve been honing my hand-eye coordination by beating my brother at video games for years.

For whatever reason, virtual keyboards and I don’t get along. So I chose the Pre, with its physical keyboard. Now, granted, the thing is so tiny that it’s apparent it was designed with smurf users in mind, but I seem to be able to make do.

But the apps! (Short for “applications.” (Short for “programs that have little practical application but are fun and shiny.”)) I haven’t really delved too far into the Pre’s app store yet, but I’m certainly excited by the possibilities. First, it’s a way to get even more video games into my life, which is always a good thing. But they also provide a way for me to avoid doing math, which is even better.

You see, my math abilities are not quite as good as my virtual keyboarding abilities. I’ve come to accept it. It’s just a matter of developing other skills to compensate.

For example, let’s say I’m in a restaurant with a few friends, trying to calculate a 20% tip from a $87 bill. Instead of calculating the tip using traditional methods, I’ve developed the ability to leap through the nearest glass window, Jackie Chan style, and flee into the night. There’s minimal scarring involved, and you’d be surprised how effective it is.

But now, with the Pre, I have a whole new set of options. I can download a tip calculator and do my tipping right there at the table, which will save me a bundle on first aid kits. But why stop there? What if I want to calculate the cost of groceries without counting on my fingers? I can use the built-in calculator for that. If I want to get fancy, I can download a scientific calculator to figure out the cosine of any given angle, and then search Wikipedia to find out what, exactly, a "cosine" is. Right there, in the palm (ha) of my hand. It's pretty awesome.

So, until the Android phone wreaks its terrible vengeance upon me for choosing its competition, I’ll enjoy my Pre.