Walking is basically hiking, right?

I recently decided that I wanted to experience some nature. It had been a while. In Los Angeles, there are basically two types of “outdoorsy” things to experience: the ocean, and smog. I’m not a fan of either. Call me a perfectionist, but I like my nature to contain something green.

And so, like any experienced outdoorsman, my first stop was google. Los Angeles isn’t known for its hiking trails--by which I mean that I wasn’t familiar with any hiking trails in Los Angeles. So I searched “hiking in Los Angeles.” I was looking for something that might resemble trees, or even a forest.

In between checking my hotmail account, checking facebook, checking my gmail account, spending a few minutes on youtube, chatting on AIM, taking a break from all this internetting, and checking hotmail again, just in case, I managed to track down something which seemed promising. It was a hiking trail right off the highway that was rated “easy-to-moderate.”

I liked the fact that it was right off the highway—I wouldn’t have to walk too far to get to the trail once I got out of the car. Also, as much as I like nature in theory, I was well aware that the practice might be something far, far different. “Easy” sounded easy enough—but we’d see.

And so I hopped in the car and headed to the hill. As promised, it was right off the highway. As in, I got off the highway, pulled over to the right and there I was, in a small parking lot with a helpful sign informing me that parking was three dollars.

The fee seemed based on the honor system, as it was a simple box you stuck money into. I couldn't shake the image of angry park rangers emerging from the brush and towing my car while I was enjoying nature, though. So I stuck the few bills in the box and looked at the map next to it.

There wasn’t much to see on the map. Squiggly lines seemed to indicate trails, but there was nothing else to help me get a sense of scale. The squiggly lines could have led a mile down the trail or to Seattle, for all I knew.

Well, I came out to be adventurous, right? (Wrong. I was just looking for trees. See above.) So I figured, since I came all the way down the highway (17 minutes), I may as well see what’s up the dirt path.

It turns out, more dirt. Well, in all fairness, there were some greenish/brown shrubs in the distance, and one dead tree. But mostly it was hot sun, dry dirt and the roar of the highway.

That’s right—the view on top of the hill was actually overlooking the highway. I knew that the path was close to it, but I figured it would take me…I don’t know. Away from it. Not so much.

The trail continued. Stubborn, I trekked on, determined to find something green. Spoiler alert: I didn’t. I did manage to follow a “trail” that seemed to be created by road crew trucks. I also found more highway. But other than that, it felt as if I were simply walking through the desert. Which, in essence, I was.

All in all, my trip lasted about two hours. I didn’t find any trees, but I was proud of myself anyway. I hiked. Through a path that resembled a construction site overlooking a highway, but I hiked.

(By the way, if you ever find yourself on a “hike” through the desert, remember to bring water. I didn’t. It sucked.)

In the meantime, here’s a picture of everything I didn’t see: